She's JV to your varsity
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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