Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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