he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
