11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
