You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
