There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
