naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize