cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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