help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
