In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
