Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
