How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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