i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize