just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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