It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
