Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
