god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
