HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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