THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
