So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
