now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
