It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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