Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
