Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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