nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
