saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
