you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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