Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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