my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
