Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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