There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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