No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
