I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i've created a new STD.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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