Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
