The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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