I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
