direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
