I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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