The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
