watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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