I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
