now i know why i became what i already was.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
