You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
