god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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