i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
