I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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