where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
