just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
