we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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