I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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