I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
