Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
