You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
