The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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