there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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