YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
