I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
