i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
