I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
